humour

WordPress is playing hard to get

I have a on-again/off-again relationship with WordPress. He’s playing catch and release. Sometimes he teases me. Letting me get to the login pages. And then he shuts down. He’s so emotionally unavailable. Sometimes I get to second base – the Reader. But then he gets all coy with me and won’t reveal your posts. Very rarely does he allow the intimacy of publishing a post. I’m worried he’s cheating on me with another blogger.

Realising we were having error messages – ERR_WTF_DTR – I sought the help of specialists . First, I was told to change my browser. Ohmygod! Now I’m going to have abandonment issues. I had to clear out my cache which made me wonder if he was only with me for my money. Check out proxy settings, they said. Look, I don’t know who this chick Proxy Settings is, but she’d better not be messin’ with my man! So I threw out all my money and hired Cheaters But no matter how many times I googled, WordPress kept rejecting me. Don’t you like me?! Am I just another plugin to you? Are you giving me the slow fade?

I went back to the specialist and they tagged me as the problematic link, not him. Had I checked my security settings recently, they asked? So I checked my search engine and that’s when I realised how insecure I am with WordPress. I plan to configure myself and become the feature image he’s always wanted me to be. All this time I thought he was ghosting me, but once our internet connection has been restored, we can play post-publish-tag again.

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Bail me outta these dog days

My little cable TV package includes everlasting re-runs of Dog The Bounty Hunter. I’m a fan for the pure entertainment element of it. Stop laughing! Come on, you can’t beat the funny factor:

-who wears an open v-neck leather jacket to apprehend a criminal? Someone should tell him to stop.

-when they accidentally mace themselves… wooohooo….lol… that is my all time favourite

-their radio chatter contains far too many “ ten-fours” and “overs”. Has anyone told them they’re not in the actual police force?

-…..heeheeheeeee

-Dog’s steeltoed cowboy boots that don’t bend as he walks. Have you seen him try to run in them? You should, its a real treat.

-I was gobsmacked when I heard Baby Lyssa state a fugitive had a “plethora of girlfriends”. I got the same enjoyment factor during a Cheaters show when a jilted lover admitted to being “duped” by his girlfriend. It thrills me when reality shows use big words

-How may pouches do their clothes have. Filled with a plethora of gadgets that make them look far too weighed down to outrun any fugitive

– Who pulls off a slick hair-backflip while kneeling on a dude pinning him to the ground? Dawg, that’s who. Dog the Bounty Hunter

But jokes aside, what I love most of all is that they treat their fugitives with dignity. Their understanding that to err is human. They attempt to counsel (not preach) and encourage. They pray. They give a shit. Which is a whole lot more that can be said for most of humanity. I know its just their job, and its just another reality show, but I get a lot more than shits ‘n giggles outta this show.

When there’s a setback, it means you have another chance for a comeback

– Beth, wife of Dog The Bounty Hunter

He's a big 'ole puppy dog

He’s a big ‘ole puppy dog

 

I’m not fat

I am bipolar and a recovering anorexic made fat by both side effects of bipolar medication, and a damaged thyroid caused by Lithium. Living single and alone, its not only a challenge to cook for one, but it’s a daily battle to eat a nutritious, balanced diet. Or even just to eat at all. I transition between starvation, comfort and binge eating. Everything to extreme, and nothing balanced. This is my weekly journal documenting my eating patterns, moods and thoughts. An attempt to keep account of my successes and failures with food.

I been away in a self-imposed emotional ICU. Depression being the culprit. I’m getting back on my feet, but my internet connection at home has died a slow death. So I’m sneaking the use of ‘work resources’ to get the Fat Anorexic Food Journal up and running again. Well, not quite running…. more like walking, or perhaps ambling along slowly (exercise does not live here).

I’m upside down and everything is inside out at home with the imminent move, so no food pics for this week. But I could totally relate to this pic with it’s sound logical thinking, and I’m sure you will too…..

fat hot