Lover’s trying to come back. Two months of ignoring his calls, and this week he hoodwinked me by phoning from a different number. I got as far as his “I’m in a bad way, I’m lost without you, I’m coming back” before telling him he’s definitely not wanted, and disconnecting.
I told the good doctor all about Lover during last week’s consult. In his specialised psychiatric opinion, Lover is a sociopath. My blood ran cold. He assured me I’d done nothing wrong; hadn’t attracted another alcoholic into my life. Sociopaths target people. He chose me. The doc said it was purely my good fortune that he happened to be an alcoholic. My background and experience with my alcoholic ex worked in my favour, ensuring a quick exit from the relationship. A sobering thought. Fortune favours the brave? A lucky escape? Yes indeed.
Now the sneaky, thieving, lying little bitch is planning on coming back to town. I hope my blunt rejection has deterred him, and not spurred him on. But now I have senario’s playing over and over in my head where he’ll seek revenge, lurking in the shadows, approach me in a parking lot, wielding a gun and wanting to kill me because I’m one of the few that didn’t rescue him from himself.
But the bright side is, I’m still suicidal. So if his gun-toting lordship wants me dead, just give me the time and place, motherfucker. For once, he’d actually be doing an act of kindness. But sarcasm aside, I really am unsettled. I suspect something has triggered him. Possibly he’s lost his job and is now “doing a geographic”. Again. This is a term used in AA which I learned from a recent post by Bradley (insightsbipolarbear.com)
In an attempt to prevent his return, I have emailed two of his family members, advising he is not ‘invited’, welcome nor wanted and has burned all bridges here in Durban. Hopefully someone will see sense and deal with the problem, so he doesn’t become MY problem.