Blogging makes my heart break

Blogging has been difficult for me this year. Within six months I’ve lost two close friends. Ulla (Blahpolar) died in September 2016, and Johnna (Painkills2 from All Things Chronic) earlier this year. Johnna played a significant part in supporting me through my grief over Ulla’s passing.

Johnna and Ulla were active and involved blogger.s Their avatars were everywhere. Their part in my life has made me a better person. And now they’re gone. And as life evolves and changes, it seems the ‘old crowd’ has scattered to the wind. I open up WordPress and feel the impact of those departed – the ones that faded quietly away never to return, the friends who kindly bid farewell as they moved on with life. And then the dead. Nothing is the same anymore and the bloggosphere feels so foreign and empty. I don’t adapt well to change. And I form attachments very quickly. While I have since made wonder new friends and know there are plenty of new friends to be made, loss is still so fresh that right now, I’m not sure what direction I will take with my blog.

Not to mention I can barely keep up with following everybody else. I feel so guilty. That I’m not present, reading and interacting like I used to. Life doesn’t leave me with too much spare time. There’s work, which is a mammoth undertaking, exhausting keeping up and avoiding mistakes because of my poor memory. Since my L5 lumbar spinal surgery, its difficult after a full day of sitting at work, to come home and sit and blog. I’m not a laptop-lying-down kinda person. And then there’s my bipolar personal management plan I try so hard to keep to – routine, vigilant for triggers and combating them, lots of sleep etc. Its hard work trying to be healthy.

Stay, go, limit interaction, change the purpose of my blog. I’m not sure. But when I figure things out, you’ll be the first ones to know. In the meantime, know my friends, I love you all and will do the best I can for now.


WordPress doesn’t want me anymore

I’m having big problems with WordPress at the moment. Most times I can’t access my site or any of your sites and it give me this message. The IT guys at work have given my computer the once over but still its giving me grief. I contacted the wordpress support and this is what they sent me:

everythings-wrong-and-offline everythings-wrong-and-offline-2

So I tried their link and it worked perfectly. For a while. Now again I’m have trouble getting in to my bog. I end up trying a variation of log in https what-you-ma-call-its. One works for that particular log in, but when I want to log in later, it DOESN’T WORK! And I am given this screen:


WTF! I’m extremely frustrated and feel like looking for an alternative. If anyone can give me suggestions I’d be most grateful. This is really stressing me out. Loading your sites to read your posts is a nightmare. I thought this hospital stay would give me the time to catch up. But I keep getting kicked out or it takes FORRRR-EVERRRRR to load! I’m trying and will keep trying to catch up with all your posts.