Mind control

Control your mind and you’ll be fine

he said to this insomniac

during a hypomanic attack

lucky for him it was said via ext

or else I’d have broken his neck

Control my mind?

Something that’s never been mine?

A quick trick so simplistic

the mere thought of it makes me sick

he crossed the line this time

I’ve tried to be honest about my illness

that there never is any stillness

or reprieve to be received

the concept is understood

but in practice its’ overlooked

a sarcastic apology defensive

in my raw state it’s offensive

to redirect blame is a shame

There are hundreds of things I cannot say”, he shouts as I walk away

I can’t argue with that

all I can do is detach

Control your mind he says over and over

but if I could, I’d have the cure for bipolar

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14 comments

  1. I’m sorry you had to put up with that. People who have not experienced their minds hijacking them can’t even imagine it. It’s outside their realm of experience. They say hurtful things because to them, there’s no excuse for not simply turning off the noise. They have no idea that some people’s “radios” have lost their knobs. Can’t turn the volume down, can’t switch off the mad dwarf controlling the content. I wish there were a bipolar VR experience for those who actually do wish to understand.

    You’re a wonderful poet.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks Laura! 🙂 I like your description of “minds hijacked”. That it is exactly. You know you get those giving-birth simulators for men to use tofeel what its like giving birth? I want one but for the brain. A few electrodes juiced up for maximun hijacking and during the torture and anguish we’ll stand by and say “just control your mind… you’re the boss…. you’re in control… you shouldn’t rely on medications. And then after that ordeal, send them off to work for a full day hahaha… But what an insightful education that would be – walking in our shoes

      Like

  2. Even when said with such innocence and a genuine kindness it’s still infuriating.
    Without direct experience it’s hard to truly understand mental ails.

    This is a stunningly well written piece. It takes you very quickly to thr heart of the issue. There’s no apology and no real sense of malice… it flows in a way that easily holds attention as you try to explain. Yes there’s a fire to this piece, an anger that needs to be expressed and despite it being present of thr surface I love the subtly beneath. The tragic painful longing to have that control.
    Truly fantastic poem

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Cameron thank you so much! It was frustrating and made me angry that he didn’t understand. But I can’t blame him. Only a bipolar truly understand what its like to experience this illness. I felt conflicted – angry with him but also guilty that I was putting him through it. And sorry for the poor bugger because he tries so hard to understand me

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I think it can make it worse when people try to understand… you just wish that they didn’t need to try and they project back that frustration.
        Sadly this is par for thr course but the aspect you should always cherish is that he’s there and isn’t leaving. You’re on to a good thing when someone cares enough to try… even if it does frustrate at times

        Liked by 1 person

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