Mental discord

My racing thoughts have tripped over into hypomania. But without the euphoria. I can’t think straight, concentrate or keep still. Just thinking thinking thinking and talking to myself in my own mind and then answering myself but there’re whispers of other ‘selves’ also talking and wanting attention. I’m beside myself. Sweating. Agitated. Anxious. I’m not doing my work too busy again posting, writing, reading, walking a path through the parking lot, thinking, thinking, thinking, music, art, friends I’ve lost, rhyming words. I keep holding my head in my hands but that doesn’t help. It doesn’t calm me ground me. Normally I take an Alzam but they’re at home. I try telling myself ‘centre, centre, centre’ but then my mind goes ‘centre, centre, centre, shopping centre, oh my god I need new shoes I’m going out tonight what if they break that’s so embarrassing what am I going to do…….’ Then I bring myself round again and tell myself ‘centre, centre, centre’ but that turns into ‘service centre’ because I need a new spare tyre and a jack because the other day my car broke down and I realised I had no spare tyre and no jack but lucky that wasn’t the problem…

centre…. centre…. centre….

Its still not working.

Advertisements

16 comments

    1. Thanks Marilyn for your kind concern. But I just have to shrug my shoulders and say ‘another bipolar day’. I can’t control the uncontrolable. But I’ve only gained some perspective now that I’m home and tranquilized hehehe

      Liked by 1 person

  1. That sounds exhausting. I know what it’s like to have a mind that jumps around but that’s an extreme. I hope you’re able to find some peace and get a chance to make the most of it.
    Just be careful you don’t push too hard too fast, easy to say and hard to do I know…. just look after your lovely self ❤

    Liked by 1 person

Say what you mean, and mean what you say

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s