A new year, a new me

I NEVER do new year resolutions.  But I thought I’d break the mould this year.  I devote this entire year to myself in the name of freedom and self-care.  To practice all I have learned in 2016.

 

 

Explore my value system and work on my self-esteem

Explore my value system and work on my self-esteem

Save money and go away for a weekend Which means.... stick to my budget.... so I can save money and go away for a weekend

Save money and go away for a weekend
Which means…. stick to my budget…. so I can save money and go away for a weekend

Work part time at home to subside my income..... so that I can earn more money.... to save more money and go away for a weekend....

Work part time at home to subside my income….. so that I can earn more money…. to save more money and go away for a weekend….

Learn to love my new home as I settle in. Despite the work it needs and however uncomfortable I feel in it right now, it belongs to me and I want to love it. I want to be content and feel at home.

Learn to love my new home as I settle in. Despite the work it needs and however uncomfortable I feel in it right now, it belongs to me and I want to love it. I want to be content and feel at home.

Develop new friendships and avoid heartbreaking entanglements

Develop new friendships and avoid heartbreaking entanglements

Take my medication as directed – no abuse of meds to escape the pain

Take my medication as directed – no abuse of meds to escape the pain

Stop people-pleasing behaviour. They must love me, not the me they want me to be

Stop people-pleasing behaviour. They must love me, not the me they want me to be

Go on day outings over the weekend

Go on day outings over the weekend

-Be a proactive participant in the newly formed bipolar support group comprised of another 4 ladies from the psych hospital
-Take care of my physical health by cooking healthy meals
-Volunteer somewhere
-Read more
-Go swimming on hot days
-Take walks on the beach
-Less absenteeism at work
-Make friends. Keep them. Don’t push them away
-Develop my interest in photography and painting
-Knit something to completion
-Learn to crochet

I’m getting carried away now, when it’s supposed to be baby steps and I’m getting ahead of myself. But hey, isn’t that what self-sabotage is for – setting ourselves up for failure? Well, we’ll see who the failure is at the end of this year.

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22 comments

  1. I am liking your intentions. My T always reminds me that we remember and forget–it really helps with cultivating self-compassion. Just be mindful that you will have many “forgetful moments” but will go back to remembering in no time. Glad you’re feeling a bit better, yay!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I love your resolutions! Some are critical and some you can move slowly on to avoid self-sabotage. You don’t have to do it all at once. I’ll be interested at the end of the year to see how you do. Your new home is beautiful and you will get comfortable. I promise. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. These are totally do-able. It is easy to get carried away with listing all the things you wanna do though before it gets to, “conquer the world, get super powers, be running a business as big as apple in 2 years time” lol. Good luck, I reckon you can do it! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I”m going to combine a few comments into one here. I read your New Year’s resolution and your Zyprexa files. You New Year’s thing is pretty cool. I like the head that is on your shoulders – you are witty and yet serious, fun and still firm. It seems your mind is working quite well considering the meds you are on. And I am in awe of you and those like you who can work and get things done.
    Your Zyprexa chronicles are scary. I’ve never had a blackout (not that I know of) but I have severe memory issues and cognitive fog ( I can’t complete a sentence like I used to).
    What makes reading your posts to fun is the aplomb with which you direct your thoughts. You are straightforward and entertaining. And your verse is easy to read.
    One thing I would ask you is this: What sort of side effects have you experienced with Lithium? I am curious because my life completely changed once I started taking it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the kind words Eric. I do love to write and positive feedback is a great comfort. I think we’re in the same boat with the cognitive fog thing. My doc calls it “a decline in cognitive ability” which sounds scary, so I think I’ll use your description from now on. I call lithium my magic pill. I’ve been taking it for close on 6 years now and hope to never have to stop taking it. My side effects are an excessively dry mouth (you’ll have a chuckle if you read this: http://wp.me/p4G2B3-zp), weight gain and in the beginning a hand tremor. All manageable. I’ve reached toxic levels twice and the dosage was lowered and the problem solved. My doc wants me off lithium and on to a different cocktails, but please, what do they know!!! I like my cocktail just fine with a pinch of lithium and a dash of salt to go. Currently I’m on 500mg. A few years ago, during my divorce, I was on 1200mg. So it varies. Let your body talk to you. You’ll know if something’s not right 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. That was a funny little diversion. My goodness they have so many different pills! Lamotrigine – is that an anti-psych? I’m currently on 900mg of lithium but am waiting to see a psydoc to have it adjusted again. I am having outbursts and it is again not pretty, so I’m thinking I’ll have to up my dosages.

        I never made the connection between my pills and my night driving. Now that you mention it, I am having trouble with the blinding car lights lately.

        I love your humor. A pinch of lithium and a dash of salt. It’s good that you can laugh with it.

        Thank you for keeping in touch. It sure does help to know that you are riding the same waves that I am.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Happy to be along for the ride with you Eric 🙂 We need to surround ourselves with people able to relate. That’s the strongest support to have. To answer your question (albeit VERY late!!) … Lamotrigine is a mood stabilizer.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, it is quite the positive thing, being around like-minded people. I learned about Lamotrigine just recently. I have been having a heavy dose of depression lately and the doctor suggested lamotrigine.

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      4. End of 2015 my doc found anti-depressants were kicking me over into mania. So he stopped those and we tried a few anti-psychotics, which didn’t gel with me. Mid 2016 he put me on Lamotigine. It has such a slow dose increase that I remained significantly depressed throughout last year. But I’m pleased to say I’m as stable as I think I’ll ever be at the moment. Give it time to work. I that’s hard to do. So as this time is passing by do whatever gives you comfort – eating, staying in bed, sleeping too much. Until the full dosage works this is a painful time. Finding comfort is important. And when you become disillusioned, think of me…. I’ve found the light at the end of the tunnel. It really does exist. I’ll wait here for you. I know you’re going to see it soon. And we’ll share a bottle of soda to celebrate

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Thank you, Pieces. I just found out that my doctor is retiring. In fact, yesterday was the day. So they have assigned me a new doc. I see her in two weeks. I’m keeping my finger crossed that she will be able to pick up where my other doc left off. He was a primary care doc and he was also versed in mental health treatments so he was given the task of handing out my meds, which he did well. But this new doc might not be able to work with that. If not, then I have to ger a referral to a psydoc. It’s all touch and go for a while I guess.

        I am happy for you that you were able to get to the light at the end of the tunnel. I am hopeful that your experience will rub off on me and that I, too, will soon be seeing a blue sky. For now I will just have to be content to know that it exists.

        I hope you don’t have to wait too long for me. I’ll bring the refreshments.

        Liked by 1 person

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