ADD diagnosis – I can see clearly now
I was admitted into a psychiatric hospital for a week. I’ve had my medication adjusted, an addition to my diagnosis and received some invaluable therapy. This is a documentation of all that I learned
I have been diagnosed with attention deficit disorder and dyslexia as co-morbid disorders of bipolar. A diagnosis that is hard to pin down and often gets lost in the murky waters of bipolar. ADD is genetic, so while I may have been born with it, there was no diagnosis of ADD as a child. I most likely over-compensated in various ways to cope, my eating disorder being one example and fear-based academic success another.
Being in hospital and seeing my doc everyday, asking the right questions, gave him further insight to my world, and led to my ADD diagnosis. He explained – bipolar is a disorder driven by moods, while ADD is driven by impulse. We did a trial run with ritalin to ‘test’ if it made any difference. All I can say is…. hello new world! The muddled confusion and foggy distraction dissipated. Everything was clear. I could focus on one task to its completion. I feel capable for the first time in my life.
I never entertained the thought of studies after school because it seemed insurmountable and I was tired of struggling. This academic success was another over-compensation, and led me into my first breakdown at age 17 years old.
If you venture into the archives of my blog, you will discover a frequent reference to lack of focus and what I have been calling ‘my own personal brand of dyslexia’. It’s validating to know my perception of my life has been clouded by an undiagnosed illness. That I’m not deficient. Now that I’m medicated….. well, the world is my oyster. This diagnosis is life changing with an exciting new world of opportunity, possibility, clarity and above all hope. A shift in focus from a doomed existence I so often talk about. I no longer feel like a failure. I feel free.
Where does bipolar begin and ADD end:
How is dyslexia tied to bipolar and ADD: