Stigma calls me a monster?

Sometimes I do turn into a monster. Sometimes I do feel like a monster. Sometimes I feel consumed by monstrous thoughts and tidal waves of emotion.

But I am not a monster. I don’t accept that. I am a beautiful empath. The intensity of my emotions make me passionate in everything I do. My sensitivity makes me able to walk in another’s shoes. I am the keeper of secrets when people confide in me. I am creative and caring. I am kind and reliable. I am incapable of lying. There is never an agenda in any thought or action. I have a sense of humour and am the first to laugh at myself. I am strong and brave. I have a beautiful heart and a deep, insightful soul. I am intelligent and interestingly imperfect. I fiercely feel every ounce that life has to offer. I’m no monster.

As much as bipolar is a curse, it is also a blessing. Without its depths I would feel hollow and dull. I can’t imagine living a life like that doesn’t gleam with intensity. Mood swings? With inconsistency every day brings a new surprise. From those dark days comes wisdom. I am proudly bipolar. So stigma can kiss my ass, along with all the ordinary folk that fuel its existence. I am me, and I love me just the way I am.

 

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16 comments

  1. You are definitely not a monster. It is so odd this comes up today. Talking to my sister earlier I told her about a Disorder in Children that sounded extremely sad. It consisted of harming others, animals, arson, theft, sexually harming others and animals, killing animals, not showing remorse, etc. The Doctors were not 100 % sure of the diagnosis because they thought it could also be Bipolar Disorder!!! I don’t know about you, but I have never had anyone tell me anything like this or remotely similar to this as a symptom of Bipolar Disorder. If you added bed wetting the Doctors would be looking at a diagnosis of Psychopathy. I was angry reading that. Yes, while manic I sometimes yell at people, I over react, I might even throw my hair brush. I do not think it’s a good time to dissect my dog or push the old lady up the street. There is a HUGE DIFFERENCE! It is stuff like this that feeds into the stigma. New blog coming! THE MONSTERS INSIDE ME! BOO! I could play with titles all day but the truth is no one pays attention to statistics and research. I’ve looked at my blog. The posts that are read the most are when I talk about my drinking days and tell stories of humiliation. That should tell you something. Sorry for ranting.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I know I can be a bitch. Some people may describe this as being a monster, probably because they’ve never met a real monster. The words used to describe me don’t hurt, because I know the truth. Don’t let other people’s ignorant words hurt you.

    I’m friends with the monster that’s under my bed
    Get along with the voices inside of my head ๐Ÿ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for that. I love Eminem. I wrote that post to try and convince myself that i’m not a monster. But its true. I think I am. I am most of what society fears. And there is no cure for what it fears in me. Fuck all the ‘nice’ things I said about myself, the bottom line is I’m cooked in the head and nothing will ever change that.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Bullshit. That’s just your depression talking. I could make a list of the people I believe are monsters, and those who suffer from bipolar are not included. You’re different. Unique. Me, too. ๐Ÿ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

    1. I don’t know what to say. It’s perfect, made me cry, was validating, inspiring. It’s shifted a weight. I don’t feel like a monster anymore. Thank you. You always know just the right thing to say or do. I appreciate you so much โค

      Liked by 1 person

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