Suicide – a commitment to death

Bipolar can kill you in one of three ways. Firstly, the actual medications used to treat the illness can kill you. Will most likely kill you. Simply put, pretty much all of them will cause organ failure over time or left unmonitored. And if your organs fail you die.

Secondly, people who have bipolar are at a higher risk for substance abuse and addiction, the complications of which can kill in a myriad of ways.

Thirdly, if the illness is left untreated for long enough – whether it be undiagnosed or treatment resistance – you die. You don’t die in the same way you’d die from organ failure – the more socially accepted way to die. No, you die by your own hand. You take your own life. You commit suicide. It is greatly frowned upon (and misunderstood) by ordinary (ignorant) folk who whisper “selfish” and “weak” in dishonourable contempt of the world we, the mentally ill, occupy.

I want to deconstruct this terminology – committed suicide. Selfish? Weak? Not at all. The very nature of the word ‘committed’ highlights the profound intent behind the act. A commitment takes effort, planning, energy, courage, faith, motivation, confidence, determination, ability to follow through. So to not only want to die, but to want to succeed at dying, one would have to be extremely committed to the cause. Think about it – committed suicide. A commitment to death.

I’d call that honourable and courageous.



  1. I don’t think very many people understand the extreme courage it takes to end your life. But, Pieces, sometimes it takes more courage to choose to live. Just keep in mind that life isn’t a contest about who has the most courage.

    Liked by 5 people

    1. That’s very true. Living is challenging and rising to that challenge every day takes courage and an unwavering determination to survive. Sometimes it takes courage for me even to walk out the front door. And despite the extreme pain you live with, you get out and live. I don’t know how you do, but you do it. That’s why I like your “Take a walk with me” pics so much. Your determination to find joy in the details of life that are all to often left unappreciated as people rush by with their own lives. I love the small details because often one can be swallowed whole by the bigger picture 🙂

      Liked by 3 people

      1. Awww! You’re so sweet. Now I really won’t be able to get out the front door ‘cos my head will be too big to fit through ;P

        Á broken foot is terrible. I hope you’re ok? Getting out, taking a walk, having a purpose – it all help to live a whole life. I can imagine you feel restricted ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  2. There has been a debate in Canada here around assisted suicide for those who are terminally ill and a number of mental heath advocates were arguing for severe and crippling depression to be included in the bill (it wasn’t). The is a novel by Canadian writer Miriam Toews called All My Puny Sorrows that raises the same question (Toews lost her father and her sister to suicide and this book is drawn from that – and despite the theme it is very funny). Our mutual friend loved this book. She was reading it when we met online (I was the reader of South African lit, she liked Canadian lit). Your post just reminded me of this.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thank goodness someone else has said it! I agree with you wholeheartedly. Taking ones own life is not “cowardly” – its fucking BRAVE! Its not selfish – its selfless. It takes a massive set of gonads to consciously make the choice to end your own suffering. But please let me make it abundantly clear…. I would NEVER encourage someone to suicide – but I totally understand it. And I would never, ever, ever, say that someone taking their own life was selfish. No one takes their own life in a whimsical fashion. This is not a decision that is taken lightly. This decision is as a result of years of unbearable heartache, and you will only ever truly understand this if you have yourself been suicidal.

    So many people don’t understand the bravery behind the fight we so often have to put up. They’re lucky. Ignorant, but lucky. There has to be more light shed on this topic of suicide. Its not shameful. As I said before, its a fucking brave act.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. I’m glad to see someone writing honestly about this topic. Not many people do. My Psychiatrist insists that none of my medications have to do with my going into Kidney Failure. He also insists that now only having one kidney doesn’t affect how my medications work. Everyone around me including myself has noticed a significant change since I lost my kidney. The Urologist said he wasn’t exactly sure if my medication would be affected. He said it would depend on what I was taking and how it was broken down in my body’s system. Another Doctor told me I would have to have all of my Bipolar medications adjusted. So many Doctors with different opinions. I’ve kind of given up and now I’m just trying to make through day by day.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I read again, the first was a knee jerk you can understand. My father committed suicide in 1992, even though he was an abuser, his death feels like yesterday at times. I did a post on 9/4 which was his birthday. This year I said more than previous years, not sure where it comes from and don’t want to go there.
    You are helping others with your post and attitude, honesty, it wasn’t long ago when we met. I’m glad you keep fighting and are gaining self confidence everyday.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You know there aren’t too many people who understand suicide. But we need to talk about it, and so I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your words on this subject. Still, you don’t need my approval to validate your thoughts and feelings. You don’t need acceptance from anyone but yourself. Fight on, warrior. 🙂


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