Worlds apart

I know its true

I disappoint you

over and over again

but the reason remains the same

what you want to see

is not the real me

so you feel ashamed

and I take the blame

once again

for your misunderstanding

while I’m battling

head barely above water

in your eyes I’m bad daughter

that child you expect

is made of regret

she doesn’t reflect your ideal

‘cos Dad, she’s not fucking real

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18 comments

  1. I disappoint people all the time. I think that’s why I spend so much time alone. It’s easier to deal with one’s own foibles than to manage other people’s reactions to our foibles.
    Hugs to you xx

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It feels good to stand up for yourself, doesn’t it? Relationships aren’t supposed to be about games. And they’re supposed to be mutually beneficial. The only person you need to worry about disappointing is yourself. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It feels scary and good at the same time. But you’re so right, there should be no games with an equal share in taking and giving. I love your comments – ‘the only person you need to worry about disappointing is yourself’ – another one that’s going to stay with me for life ❤ ❤ ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  3. This is utterly heartbreaking yet so inspiring. Sadly youre not the only one. I felt this could be so much about be, a consistent disappointment. That ideal image of child or partner is devastating when you feel you keep disappointing the ones you love. To know yourself is the first step and asking, nae demanding to be heard is necessary.
    Until then there are people who can identify, yes it’s easier to keep yourself isolated and with a community like WordPress even easier. It takes time for the rest of your world to catch up.
    Truly a great piece!!! ♥

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I absolutely know what you are going through as I have NO relationship with either my mother or father. A lot of that has to do with the disconnect I had with them as a child, which only got worse as an adult.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. That’s terrible, Vic. I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through that! I have to say its a great testament to what a fantastic father you are. That despite the odds, you have managed to break the cycle and do things differently, properly. Wow! That’s incredible, good on you!!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Many many hugs to you and well done for protecting yourself and doing things differently. I read your other post about the silent treatment in my email but couldn’t find it when I was re-directed to your blog.
    The poem is so full of emotion and I could relate straight away.Keep putting yourself and protect that little girl that didn’t get the love she deserved. ❤ ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Athina. Your relating makes me feel less isolated. I’m learning so much from people like you who speak from experience and inspire us to take the steps to heal. I posted the silent treatment post by mistake. It is scheduled for later today. I don’t have internet at home and am trying to keep up at work (inbetween work, but don’t tell the bosses) I’ve come so far in the last few years, I don’t want to destroy what I’ve worked for. I’m working for me ❤

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