Body Beautiful

I am bipolar and a recovering anorexic made fat by both side effects of bipolar medication, and a damaged thyroid caused by Lithium. Living single and alone, its not only a challenge to cook for one, but it’s a daily battle to eat a nutritious, balanced diet. Or even just to eat at all. I transition between starvation, comfort and binge eating. Everything to extreme, and nothing balanced. This is my weekly journal documenting my eating patterns, moods and thoughts. An attempt to keep account of my successes and failures with food.

If you’re taking medication for bipolar disorder, chances are you will gain weight. Having an eating disorder makes it especially challenging to accept the bigger body I now reside in. Although my body feels shockingly foreign to me, I do try to embrace my new ‘curves’ and find Mika’s ‘Big Girl You Are Beautiful‘ a perfect fit in helping me change my frame of mind. To accept the new (and actually improved) me!

My eating is still a bit of pick at this pick at that. Eat straight from the can, a big bowl of ice cream for dinner and too much coffee. One triumph is I’m losing my insane craving for peanuts. I can only wonder what my next food compulsion will be. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that it will be celery or cucumber or somethin’ like that….

 

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2 comments

  1. This was a very interesting read. Perhaps it is time those scientific boffins who come up with medications find a way to make them so that they avoid the often inevitable side effect of weight gain.
    In the society we live in, it isn’t enough to have mental and emotional difficulties as it is. We are also punted with the “ideal” figure, and this can contribute to an already stressed-out psyche.
    When meds cause weight gain, it can be especially difficult for people like you who suffered from an eating disorder. I personally know the fear and aversion towards specific medication simply because it causes a few extra kilograms, and this is ridiculous. Isn’t it enough to be mentally unwell, why are we forced to fixate on the physical, too?! It’s extremely frustrating. I do hope you have fun with and enjoy the meal preparations! =)

    Like

    1. Thank you for your comment and I agree with you. These guys ‘n gals are so clever yet do nothing about addressing the added mental affliction caused by the side effects. It’s not logical that their intellect doesn’t extend to that.

      Liked by 1 person

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