My hypomania has dailed up a couple notches since my last post. Oh, who am I kidding, I’m SUPER-FANTASTIC-HYPOMANIC! I’M EUPHORIC! I feel on top of the worrrrrrrrrld!
I don’t walk, I stride. I feel lighter, eyes brigher, brain wired to every nerve ending of pleasure and excitement, ideas and creativity, all snapping in choas like live electric cables dancing in my brain. Even though insomnia has come hand in hand with the hypomania, I feel FaBULOuS!
Over the past 6 weeks, I’ve inched my way up to the therapeutic dose of lamotragine (100mg). And even though, combined with lithium, my dry mouth is twice as dry, I’m twice as thirsty and pee twice as much, right now I feel FaBULOuS! Even though lamotragine has made me even more wobbly on my feet and prone to losing balance (the cause of my recent back injury), I don’t care ‘cos…. feeling FaBULOuS! Even though I have a dreaded new side effect from lamotrigine (diarhhea), WHO CARES – NOT ME, ‘cos I still feel FUCKING FaBULOuSsSsssss!
Okay. Time for serious and focused. The trigger responsible for all this fabulosity? A life changing situational event – BUYING MY NEW HOME! I AM SO OVER-EXCITED! I’ve stripped Pinterest bare of decorating ideas, swatches and freestanding kitchen combinations. My move is 2 1/2 months away, but I’ve already started packing. I’m sanding down, sprucing up, painting, dry brushing and cataloguing to my little, hypomanic heart’s content……
I know this won’t last. I’ll soon come down with a thud. My illness is about awareness and management. So I’m taking rivotril to try and keep a lid on this boiling euphoria. And tonight I will take some olanzapine to make sure I sleep. I will also stay away from design catalogues. Just for tonight.
This illness has such range. The pendulum swings and all that. Its hard to believe I was so close to suicide in Feb/March. And three months later…. well …. FaBULOuS!