Desperate for sleep

Who in their right mind wakes up at 2am, wanders aimlessly about for a bit and then decides to strike while the iron is hot (awake)…. and makes a cheese sauce to freeze. It would appear that person is ME! And then I flit from project to project until I hear the first train run – 4:15am and think – shit, I really should be getting some sleep; how am I going to make it through the day; what is to become of me… and then the automatic big leap to thoughts of suicide.

When will this relentless cycle of insomnia/disturbed sleep end? It was triggered by the stress of a late night at work, under the pressure of meeting deadlines whilst battle against a dreaded computer virus. This occurred on 11 April 2016. My sleep pattern has never been the same again.


My doc prescribed olanzapine, in addition to the 50mg trepline and 2mg dormonoct, to help me sleep. It didn’t help. So this weekend I raided my stash and found some cloment. I halved it and slept like the dead. Great! But the downside is I sleep all day as well. So that rules out taking it during the week.

I am exhausted. And feel like I will never sleep normally again. Perhaps its time to take some leave? Really knock myself out. And do some healing things like going to the beach and getting some sunshine in my blood?

Doesn’t sound like a bad idea… Watch this space.



  1. Trazadone is an anti-depressant that works just for the night. It works fast too, 50-200mg. I dont condone suggesting meds but I was always chasing sleep at one point and my doc prescibed it so maybe it will help you too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have tried trazadone and it knocks me side ways. I can’t function at all at work the following day. I’ve tried olanzapine but that doesn’t work and am now trying clozapine which gets me to sleep but also carries over to the next day. So I try to save it until the weekends. But thanks for the tip, it always helps to know what helps others 🙂


    1. Thanks Charlotte. I’ve tried trazadone but it makes me unable to work the following day. I actually fell asleep at my computer!! I’m trying clozapine now. I took a few days off work to knock myself out and hopefully restore the balance

      Liked by 1 person

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