Hard knocks

I’ve taken a few knocks in the past couple of weeks.  They have pushed me back into depression and vivid thoughts of suicide.  I never seem to have any middle ground – bad thing happens, oh dear, shed a tear, but soldier on.  No… with me its all or nothing, no inbetween – bad thing happens, cry me a river and straight to suicide desires.

But….

I have to get up in the morning.  I have to get dressed.  Mop myself up a little ‘cos I didn’t bath.  I have to go in to work.  I have to earn a living and pay bills.  I have to entertain people’s request and demands and live up to expectations.  I have to keep carrying on.

If you’re lost and alone
Or you’re sinking like a stone.
Carry on – Fun: Carry On

 

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17 comments

    1. Oh I’m so glad you could relate. And isn’t music wonderful like that. Sometimes it speaks to you, and other times it can speak for you 🙂 And with this being your theme song for the week, we’ll both carry on carrying on together

      Liked by 1 person

  1. You are a strong woman, it takes time in depression hell to come out the other side. The illness has no cure at this time. I think the future is bright for new medicines, possibly meds that can do more with less pills.
    I know you have a long list of things you want to do or see. When you see The Black Dog coming look at your list and do research on how to do or where to go. You know I’m not full of shit playing polly annie! Tell is like it is, the same as you. When you have a good day pay it forward. Someone helped you. Whatever state your depression level, except suicidal, you may be steps ahead. No matter how long or how bad your depression, you learned with each step. Many times helping by listening made a difference. Please remember my friend, every step benefits you and allows you to help another.
    A good start when your this down, think anything you can except ex hub and Lover, they only keep you in a bad place. I survived tons of shit, all that matters is how I deal with current matters.

    Take a look at Change.org, I advocate many petitions. I tell people a snipet of the petetion include a link. That’s a step. Take on Advocate role, you can look thru the great causes that need an advocate, sending a

    Like

  2. I think it is a great song to identify with. Keep carrying on, one day at a time – sometimes it is all we can do and what we need to do. Sending positive vibes your way!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Sorry i sent half a message oops.
    No letting things set you so far back is the in-between. Its a conscious decision you have to make. I like to put my troubles in a figurative box until im ready to deal with them, and thats usually after i give myself a little pep talk and figure out a plan. Then i go on. You will be fine
    Please keep fighting.:-)

    Liked by 1 person

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