Home sweet home?

keys

when I was contemplating suicide
my friend gently helped me to decide
to buy my own home
so I’d no longer feel alone
and cast out in a world, unheard and disturbed
with an uncertain fate weighed down by mistakes
I should rather put down some roots and have an anchor
so inspired, I went and spoke to my banker

what I thought was impossible was not so
I didn’t need to sit homeless on deadrow
my home loan was given the go
and I’m looking for a place to call my own
something safe and cast in stone

it isn’t easy
I feel queasy at the thought of debt
but I have to get that out my head
house-hunting is not for the faint of heart
it’s hard
and disappointing at times
but it’s better than wishing I want to die

something perfect will come along
I just know it,
somewhere where I’ll belong

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9 comments

  1. I purchased a home a few years back. I had this check list, college, career, home, husband and then happiness. I started falling apart once I had all those things and still didn’t find happiness. Your perspective seems much healthier. I totally get the idea of laying down roots. It is good to have a place of your own.

    I worry about isolation. Maybe roommate? Or a lively community? I don’t know. I am good at isolating myself and hiding from the world, so I try to build in safe guards. Good luck on your house hunt!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for the good luck, I know I’ll need it. Isolation… yes, a tricky thing that. I’m a recluse by choice, I love isolation but I also know how unhealthy it is. Its a catch 22 situation. I don’t want to be around people, but I do get lonely sometimes. My friend lives in one of the places I’m looking at, so I could always visit – even if it is in my pyjamas!!

      Like

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