Running on empty

The thing about running on the high frequency of hypomania is, it always brings insomnia. Recently hypomanic, I’m enduring an extended period of either no sleep at all, or averaging 3 – 4 hours per night. For more than 2 weeks now. This is not something conducive to good physical health.

I feel my body deteriorate a little more each day as my immune system declines. A stuffy nose here, some aching joints there. I’ve had a mild UTI infection, a lingering yeast infection and some barking bronchitis to boot. You should hear me cough…. it’s ever so sexy. Sinusitis, a post nasal drip, headaches, mouth sores/ulcers and a low grade fever one day on, one day off.

And they have the audacity to tell us we aren’t sick it’s all in our minds and to “just snap out of it”!

The fatigue is exhausting in and of itself. The brain fog makes it twice as treacherous navigating through life with a sure footing. My mental capacity has slowed, along with my thought process, speech, co-ordination and reaction times. I am quite literally tripping and stumbling through life right now.

insomnia_sheep

Insomnia is only one of the many symptoms of bipolar. Like a house of cards, our bodies react in a physical manner to each mental and emotional symptom – a domino effect takes place. Its a large burden we carry, yet carry it we do. Believe me, I don’t look good carrying it right now, but I’m alive. And that’s all that really matters to me.

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11 comments

  1. Hello fellow bipolar compatriot. I so get what you’re talking about. I’m going through the insomnia and have been for probably 6 weeks now, but it’s catching up to me too. I’m finding that in the morning I am so tired I’m slurring my words and wobbling like a drunk. This happens even in public. It’s embarrassing. So far no UTI though, so I guess I should count myself lucky? lol I guess in our situations every little respite is well earned. Feel better soon.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. 3 – 4 hours a night for a full week is touch. No wonder it’s affecting you physically and mentally. I haven’t been hypomanic for some time and I thought I have missed it. Now I think it might not be such a good thing.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I take an Ambien every single night and sometimes I sleep right away and sometimes I don’t. I used to have absolutely terrible insomnia when I was in an extended manic state. I wish you peace and sleep my friend.

    Liked by 1 person

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