Focusing on the practicalities of living

I’ve been on espiride for a week now and its doing it’s job. Supposedly no side effects, but my doc’s prediction that I’ve become med sensitive is proving correct. The first 5 days weren’t pleasant so I halved the dose. We have a 4-day long weekend which I’m taking advantage of to take the full dose.

So far so good. There has been no rekindling of hope as yet, but I do feel lighter. The constant crying has ebbed to something more controlable. I’m just focusing on the practicalities of living – hygiene, eating (as in food I have to chew rather than just mixing a replacement meal shake), not abusing my meds so I can escape into sleep, and trying to stay busy and focused so my mind doesn’t dwell where it shouldn’t.

Since I have 4 days alone, I ‘ve told myself I have to venture out into the world once every day. Yesterday I went out and bought my cigarettes for the month. I go to a tobacconist at a local shopping mall. I hate shopping malls – they trigger rage and anxiety. But he charges wholesale prices if you pay cash. And, I need cheap, so shopping mall it is. But, Murphy’s Law, while most of the shops were open for trading, the muslim owner had shut up shop on a christian holiday?????

smokes for the month

This forced me to drive around in the heat to hunt down my cheap brand of poison. I got home hot, sweaty and angry, but with stash in hand.

Today I woke up early and worked in the garden. Hey, technically that IS getting outta the house!


It’s worth getting up early for a sunrise like this

As far as eating, the proof is in the pudding. My meals this week, one cooked, the rest just chopped/mixed with salad dressing. I know, I know, I have to curb my enthusiasm.

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  1. Working in the garden is getting out of the house! My garden is one of my coping skills and a great way to contribute to the household funds by growing our own food. Keep up the great work and that sunrise is gorgeous!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Leslie πŸ™‚ Ohhhhh but my body hurts in new and unusual places! Haven’t been this active in years. But its a good stiffness, means I’ve been working and stretching and getting my hands dirty. Gardening is grounding πŸ™‚


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