Lover’s trying to come back. Two months of ignoring his calls, and this week he hoodwinked me by phoning from a different number. I got as far as his “I’m in a bad way, I’m lost without you, I’m coming back” before telling him he’s definitely not wanted, and disconnecting.

I told the good doctor all about Lover during last week’s consult. In his specialised psychiatric opinion, Lover is a sociopath. My blood ran cold. He assured me I’d done nothing wrong; hadn’t attracted another alcoholic into my life. Sociopaths target people. He chose me. The doc said it was purely my good fortune that he happened to be an alcoholic. My background and experience with my alcoholic ex worked in my favour, ensuring a quick exit from the relationship. A sobering thought. Fortune favours the brave? A lucky escape? Yes indeed.

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Now the sneaky, thieving, lying little bitch is planning on coming back to town. I hope my blunt rejection has deterred him, and not spurred him on. But now I have senario’s playing over and over in my head where he’ll seek revenge, lurking in the shadows, approach me in a parking lot, wielding a gun and wanting to kill me because I’m one of the few that didn’t rescue him from himself.

But the bright side is, I’m still suicidal. So if his gun-toting lordship wants me dead, just give me the time and place, motherfucker. For once, he’d actually be doing an act of kindness. But sarcasm aside, I really am unsettled. I suspect something has triggered him. Possibly he’s lost his job and is now “doing a geographic”. Again. This is a term used in AA which I learned from a recent post by Bradley (insightsbipolarbear.com)

In an attempt to prevent his return, I have emailed two of his family members, advising he is not ‘invited’, welcome nor wanted and has burned all bridges here in Durban. Hopefully someone will see sense and deal with the problem, so he doesn’t become MY problem.



  1. This is frightening. Have you had, or considered having, a restraining order taken out on him? Granted, it may not stop him from coming near you, but at least you can react and call the police immediately as a defense.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Most certainly. I can only get one if he does something. So I’ve emailed the family members and told them if I see him anywhere – home, work, out and about – I will get a restraining order. If he breaches the order I will call the police, have him arrested, and I will press charges. I’ve sent a very clear message that nothing good awaits him here. But he’s a different breed so unpredictable. But it is disturbing and I am frightened. Luckily its the psychopath that is violent, while the sociopath gets others to do the dirty work. I’ve also alerted everyone in town that knows him. I hope it deters him

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so freaking proud of you for drawing the line in the sand, for not caving, and for being proactive in emailing his relatives
    I want you to stick around VERY much, sweet Pieces, so no offing yourself, okay? Please know I don’t mean that glibly – I’ve wanted to do it many times (you know that). Please keep us posted on this situation and know that I’m thinking of you!!! Wish that Lucy was with you to protect, because as cutesy as I describe her & as pretty as the fluffbeast looks, she could bite the shit out of anyone really bad -she has serious fang action. XOXOXOXOXO

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thanks Dyane, I’m all weepy now. Its such a comfort to know so many people care. I have no doubt Lucy would chew someone’s arm right off at the elbow if she sensed danger. I’ll have her here in mind and spirit. She can sleep on the bed with me 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      1. (((((HUGS)))))) Lucy would rip the shit out of anyone who threatened my friend Pieces of Bipolar, and then in her final pièce de résistance, she would shit all over the fiend!!!!!!! 💩

        Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Tempestjoy! I’d like to think at the heart of it all he’s just a coward. But only time will tell. Hmm, the one family member wasn’t too happy with me. I get the impression they would like nothing more than for him to become someone else’s problem. But it ain’t gonna be me!!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks for your concern and safety tips. Luckily I live in South Africa so I’ve got loads of security – private patrols, CCTV camera facing the driveway, security beams, barbed wire fencing. Plus my landlord lives next door, works from home and used to be a cop. He runs 3 of the local community watches. So I’m safe at home. Same deal at work – loads of security. He doesn’t have a car or access to any transport so the coming and goings should be fine. I’m super alert anyway because of crime, but I’ve definitely notched it up a level. I took his keys when I gave him the boot and I’ve done a few self defense classes in the past. But in the end, its all so unpredictable isn’t it.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, it is. Brr! I don’t envy you this time. When my ex found me and started to stalk me…Can’t even begin to describe the stone cold terror. Sounds like you’re much better equipped to deal with it than I was, though. ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Truly a horrible situation to be in. I once shared a house with an alcoholic like the guy you were describing. When this guy ran out of pants he just used mine – seriously. He was one sick individual. And the things I witnessed him doing with his girlfriend were fucking sick. I’m still trying to get over that. Even now.

    Yet the trick is to not blame yourself. These bastards are devious. They con you into making you think whatever happens it’s your fault. But it’s not. Don’t ever think that. You definitely can’t be blamed for anything concerning them.

    That’s such a big step having a clear cut break. Be safe! I’ve been a magnet for these types of people most of my life too. It’s only recently they stay away! I repel them. I can spot one a mile away lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. What do you do to repel them? Maybe do a post? I know a lot of people have the same difficulties. Logically I know I’m not to blame, it’s not personal. But I have still to get there emotionally. Fortunately I’ll be starting therapy soon, so look forward to unravelling all this mess

      Liked by 1 person

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