There’s a crisis but we’ve got a plan

Saw my doc yesterday. It’s not often one encounters a doctor who really cares. But I can say I’m one of the lucky few. He did not treat me as a sum total of bipolar symptoms. He dealt with me as an entire person also taking into account my strained financial situation. He’s fairly new, and thus uncertain, to me. But lemme tell you, he’s worth his consultation fee.

He declared I was in crisis and grieving (ya’ think!) and immediately set about constructing a ‘crisis management plan’. Firstly, medication. I had 3 options (fluanxol, abilify, esperide) which he explained in detail. He chose esperide, reasoning – I will feel the benefits immediately, few side effects, no withdrawal problem and its cheap. I like cheap. I need cheap.

I have to see a psychologist, specifically to discuss my high anxiety and my feelings of loneliness and abandonment. He even chose a colleague that is nearby, which means no extra petrol expense.

My medical aid allows for 15 psychiatrist/psychologist consultations every year. He immediately worked out how many times he needed to see me, and there and then got on his laptop and emailed the medical aid. I am to tell the psychologist to do the same.

Instead of going back to hospital, I have to phone him on Thursday to prove I’m still alive, to reassure him I haven’t taken a belly-flop off a highrise building. I promised I would phone. I am to see him again in two weeks time.

And then he did the kindest thing…. he didn’t charge me for the consult. I almost started crying all over again. To be kind costs nothing. And his kindness – especially right now a man being kind to me – was the best medicine I’ve had in ages.



  1. Wow. Um. I’m about to go for my dinner now, but hang on in there! I know I’m just some random guy from the internet but I’m sure you’ll look back on this one day and feel stronger for it. Time heals everything. It really does! I have no idea what’s going on but if I could give you a real hug I would!

    I’ve been in and out of Psych wards many times in my youth. Even had a spell in a secure ward for hitting a male nurse.

    I know there isn’t any magic word that I can say – but you seem awesome! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Raymond. That’s very comforting to hear. It seems we had a similar youth as far as psychiatric care is concerned. Shit happens, is all I’m able to come up with at this point. But I’ve always put up a good fight. So, I’ll be fine. Now…. go eat your dinner before it gets cold 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Compassionate, affordable help is indispensable. It took 16 years and a spectacular breakdown that cost my career to finally find myself in a supportive program at the hospital – at least for the time being. Too bad we have to completely fall apart first. One might expect things would be better here in Canada but we also have a very long way to go. Too many cracks in the system.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. That’s truly incredible, what your kind doctor did, and I want you to take it as a good omen! (I should add “please”…sorry to sound like the bossy bitch that I really am! 😉
    Thinking of you and sending you my love!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. I’m the bossiest bitch of them all….sometimes. I’m working on it. Thanks again for introducing me to that amazing, amazing rapper – he’s far more than that. A visionary. I get chills thinking of that video.


  4. What a wonderful testament to hear there are medical professionals out there that truly care. With help like that, you are in a great position to better manage your challenges. Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

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