When Lover says its gonna be okay, I think it will be. Witnessing my obsessive and futile search for flowers yesterday, he found some of his own today. Presenting me with a sprig of colours for my work area. He even MacGyvered a salt shaker into a cute little vase.
As I write, my cigarette lies discarded, burning down in the ashtray outside. I’ve been distracted again. I long for peace or serenity or for my mind to just shut the fuck up! Maybe then I would stop hurting myself. Yes, today I closed a door on my thumb. Bloody hell eina!!!!
A minefield of detritus, thoughts are reeling and rolling haphazardly around in my head. I long for quiet mindfulness. The flowers Lover found were right on our doorstep. Yesterday, in my agitated state, I had walked right past them.