How do you spell ’embicile’?

I was going to wait until I had something ‘intellegtual’ or ‘funny’ to post about. But let’s face it, this is bipolar. There is nohting nice to say about it. So here is my post today, spelling mistakes and all – since I appear to have adopted some type of hyprid dyslexia. Just another delightfully novel side effect from whatever, I forget.

I used to be an encglish fundi. I pride myself on good spelling and grammar. But since being medicated that’s all gone for a bucket of shit. I don’t just misspell words. I haven’t the faintest fucking clue how to spell the word. It’s not like me at all. I have to GOOOOOOGLE ‘how do you spell embicile’.

And today? Memory. Huhhhhh, my bad memory. I put me bihend at work by hours. HOURS I tell you! And I went in early this morning because we’re so buys AND I stayed late to catch up. I make notes. Reminders. But I forget to read my notes. I forget I’ve made notes to be read to remind me.

I googled it. It’s called cognitive something-or-other. I forget. But here’s the link if it interests you http://www.bphope.com/Item.aspx/972/the-cognitive-connection

The resullt of my confusion, memory fog, cognitive whats-it-whatever is I MAKE MISTAKES. When I make mistakes I get in trouble and if I get in touble enough times, what I fear the most………….. theln I possibly get fired. So for the most part at work, I feel useless, helpless and anxious. And I feel like:
‘HOW DO YOU SPELL EMBILCILE’

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11 comments

  1. I can appreciate how you are feeling. I get like that some days, and it’s really frustrating and upsetting because my mind is my most prized possession. If it goes fuzzy around the edges it distresses me greatly. At the moment I feel like my head is stuffed full of cotton wool, and a miniature version of me is inside my brain wading through wads and wads of cotton wool, and getting all caught up and stuck.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Karlee 🙂 For sure, my mind is also precious. That’s when I’m not losing it, at least. Mine is more of a blank. Just nothing. I know I know what to do, but I just can’t remember, can’t bring that recollection to the fore. For now I’m choosing to work around it. Good luck with your ‘Mini Me’ inside your cotton wool brain. We can all stumble along together 🙂

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  2. I’ve gone through something similar a couple of times. I spell things like they sound. Can’t becomes Kant. Was becomes wuz. and so on. When it happens it’s very frustrating, but, so far, its always gone away eventually.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Pieces, got a heads up of your blog from blah polar. Excuse typos, auto correct on new tablet. Anyway, back to the post. I suffered severely from this off meds, and it got so bad I couldn’t study and became one if the reasons why I had to drop out. And even on meds it feels like every other time something sweeps my brain clean, even in mid thought. What the hell man? I’m the lady with the trolley in pick ‘n pay going through the same aisles every 5 mins. Can the meds even correct thus? Would be nice. Maybe then I can graduate. But for now, I just have to remember to take the kids out of the bath. I’m not stupid, I’m bipolar. Tee hee. Keep in touch!

    Liked by 1 person

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