Let go and begin

I see life as an evolution. Everything evolves. Be it food in the fridge. Fresh and left uneaten over time, goes off. It evolves into decomposition. The battery in your phone goes from fully charged to flat when used over the course of the day. Then begins a new cycle when you recharge the battery. As life evolves with change, so do we as individuals. And it is in this evolution of life that I find myself at the arse-end of a few cycles.

Ever since the finalisation in September of my divorce, certain aspects of my life are wrapping up, coming to an end. It’s bittersweet. On the one hand, any ending is sad. But on the other hand, there would not be an ending without there having first been a wonderful beginning.

Letting go is not easy to do. It’s scary and unfamiliar and hollow. It’s just plain sad saying goodbye. But I’d be selfish to hang on past the best-before/expiry date. Their lives are evolving with their own changes, endings and new beginnings. We’re not being pulled in the same direction. And so my time in their lives has come to an end. And I need to let go, because they’ve already moved on, and I need to move on too.

Now to truly let go, is to not begrudge them the joy of their new beginning. This new beginning that doesn’t include you. That’s a hard one to reconcile. Having said that, here goes:

To: The Blacksmith + The Salesman
Thank you for sharing a small part of life with me. I had fun, experienced new adventures and learned great life lessons. I wish you only the very best. I am happy that you are happy. I apologise for the hurt I caused you during our interactions. I forgive you the hurt you caused me. May life embrace you warmly.

*applause*
*bow*
*exit stage left*
*’cos this girl is fakin’ it ’til she’s makin’ it y’all* *snaps fingers*

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