Thought it’d be all rainbows and soap bubbles once the divorce and settlement had been rung in by the judge’s gavel. But I find myself at a loss. Oh no, don’t get me wrong. I certainly don’t regret the divorce. Hell no! I don’t have rocks in my head. But I feel sad, a bit melancholy. Mournful, downcast, bewildered. Three years my focus has been all about the divorce. Now what?
People are saying things like ‘get on your feet’. I don’t understand? I had to get on my feet as soon as I left. I had to find and create a home. I bought a car and I already had a job. Soooo, it would appear I am already on my feet? Yes? No?
So what am I missing? I find myself during the day sitting staring vacantly off into space. Is this bipolar? Or is this me wading through the fallout and debris from the divorce. I thought it would get easier, damnit!
Whatever comes next, I’ve decided not to do it alone. Whatever lies around the corner, I’m going to tackle it with a little help from my friends.