I’m told bipolar responds well to routine. Go to bed the same time every night. Wake up the same time every morning. Structuring the day with tasks, and repeating the same or a similar structure everyday, and voila! You have routine, and bipolar is happy.
I’m fortunate because my job has structure and routine. I do the same, but slightly different, thing every day. All within the time constraints of deadlines. This makes for a happy bipolar worker.
Evenings, I have a routine of shower, cook dinner (finally I’m cooking and not just eating cereal), eat, watch tv/internet/read. Then off to bed makes for a happy bipolar girl.
Weekends are a challenge. You see, I am of the firm belief that weekends were made for sleeping. I’m a happy and content recluse so I don’t WANT to go out. I don’t want to go and walk on the beach, or have a coffee, or go shopping, or go watch a movie. I love nothing more than wearing pajamas Friday night to Monday morning and sleeping for about 50 hours.
Sounds like bliss. Yes, sign me up please….. But lately I’ve become aware of a pattern. Mondays are my most difficult days to get through. Okay, obviously, because they’re Mondays. By the natural order of the universe, they just are the shittiest day of the week. But what I feel is more than a disgruntlement with the first day of the week. I’m seriously depressed. As in I want to go home, I’m weepy, my mind traverses the halls of suicide options and I fail to see the hope in anything. The day is endless and I get through it by telling myself I can dive into bed the moment I get home.
It would appear that I need routine in my weekends. Not the routine that says, ok, I’ll sleep from 11am ’til 4pm, have dinner and jump back into bed at 8pm. I need to get up. Go out. Take that walk on the bloody beach. Drink that silly cup of coffee. Browse around the shops. But I draw the line at movies (no cigarette break).
I know it will help to alleviate that Monday Depression. The logical, responsible part of me knows I will only benefit from routine on the weekends. The stubborn part of me says…… well, you don’t really want to know…. totally inappropriate language!
So I’m not making any promises. But if I do venture from my lair this weekend, I will snap a few photographs. As proof. And then I’ll let you know how Monday went.