On a scale of zero to chocolate

Stop the press! Hold the horses!

It would appear I am not, as per presvious post, normal, afterall. I’m pretty sure it’s not normal to feel this weight of depression on my back. So typical. Just when I thought I had it all figured out.

At least its not a debilitating depression. But then I guess its all relevant, isn’t it? Right ladies and gentlement, I will now demonstrate precisely how I determine the magnitude of one of my depressions. Behold….. my modified version of a Depression Richter Scale.

It goes like this:

I washed my hair last night (great)

I went to work today (great)

I showered after work (great)

I’ve done a load of laundry (great)

I’ve bargained with myself and will hang said laundry tomorrow (Ooooo, not so good)

I draw the line at cooking dinner (Ooooooo, not so good)

Plan to go to bed early (Oooooo, not so good)

Depression Richter Scale grading system:

(great) – pretty f**cking awesome; give yourself a high five; have a chocolate; you’re a superhero; no sign of depression

(Ooooo, not so good) – hmmm, walking the line there; watch yourself; you could fall either side

(bad) – I fell the wrong side and I’m f**cked; phone Dr S and in the meantime hide the weapons and/or sharp objects

So you see, I have it all figured out…..

Say what you mean, and mean what you say

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